Home For The Holidays

Many of you possibly dread the pilgrimage to visit relatives during the holidays. Once upon a time I might’ve had those thoughts (but I was gallivanting across the globe). Now I’m just a crotchety curmudgeon, but I think of the others who haven’t benefited from my dubious presence. Courtesy of ageism retirement, I was able to make a solo trip while my siblings exist.

My eldest sister’s Christmas present is to pay for a function room and catering for the extended family. (Maybe forty adults and up to half that of children). I hadn’t reserved a spot until I discovered my unemployment (self decided, as I couldn’t keep up with the demands of the new job). So, my better half suggested my attendance; with elder sister agreeing, and we planned for me being a surprise guest.

I had the idea to sneak in as one of the staff, and checked their website as to their employee dress code (generic black). They had a space where I hid out, and waited until the majority of families arrived. The staff had the idea of my going around the room filling water glasses. Was able to make a circuit of the room with only one person identifying me (who I shook my head to keep quiet).

The main target was my other elder sister who was busy with grandkids running around. Was able to get behind her and start sipping her drink, waiting for her to turn around.

Good gag, everyone was let in on it. Only thing in retrospect was I should’ve had the first sister (or the staff) record video of the gag. Instant holiday classic.

Beyond that, I hadn’t planned on making to individual journeys to all the separate houses. Logistics would be tiresome. So, spent the remaining time eating local delicacies (fried clams with bellies!)